Aunt Mary’s Home for Creepy Ads

Perhaps it’s the triple whammy of my obsessive watching of Stranger Things, listening to the Black Tapes Podcast and the infiltration of clowns across our great nation, but I’m on edge lately. Obviously the best treatment was days spent searching the deep web for weird-ass ads to share with you all.

I’m a giver, that’s for sure.

Brace yourselves, kids, for Aunt Mary has uncovered the creepiest food ads from the good ‘ol days. I’m pretty sure none of these open a portal to the Upside Down.

weird-guy-pudding-pie

 

 

 

I get the distinct impression there is something in this pie that Fred isn’t telling us about. He watches while we eat, but he never takes a bite. He just smiles that knowing smile.

 

 

 

 

 

 

green-giant-doll

 

 

Obviously this doll gets up and wanders the house at night, that’s a given. What’s weird is he rips the labels off the canned vegetables leaving the homeowners guessing what tonight’s side dish will be. It’s diabolical.

 

 

creepy-juice

 

 

 

Even demons need their vitamin C.

Maybe it’s time to lay off the OJ when your kid is carrot colored.

 

 

skinless-weiners Hey Jughead, I feel like this might be one of those “if you see something, say something” situations. I’m not sure what’s wrong here, but I can say that nothing’s right.

The odd imagery this company used in almost all of their advertising lends a sinister tone to their name, Skinless.

skinless-weiners-4th

 

 

 

 

Nothing about this ad is either safe or sane.

 

 

 

 

Well, goodnight kids! Sleep tight, I hope the stuffed Green Giant won’t bite.

Sure, I’ll leave the hall light on.

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