Happy Independence Day, fellow Americans!
After dope advertising, American’s love nothing more than eating food and blowing stuff up, so today’s our time to shine!
Check Aunt Mary’s story about Nathan’s Hot Dogs to see what’s on the menu, and let’s move on to the after-dinner entertainment: amature explosives!
Such as disfiguring circus-folk.
Or witnessing breathtakingly poor choices mixed with demure boasting.
Or the most elegant way to freak the hell out of your neighbor’s dog!
Lastly, don’t forget that fireworks will look even more enchanting through the fog of self medication!
You know those shops where you can fill baggies with candy? That’s what I’m picturing here. Only bins of drugs and explosives. It’s customary for Vicodin to only be paired with Roman Candles. Anything else is gauche.
Take the advice from the little girl and have a safe and sane 4th!
***In no way do I want to diminish the horror of the Hartford Circus fire. For more information listen to this podcast.