Category Archives: holiday

Of Tiny Men and Eggnog

Last year I lamented the punch bowl missing from holiday festivities, and I thought I would expand on that theme by exploring what’s up with Eggnog. Love or hate it, eggnog’s a staple of the holidays and likely one of the earliest social lubricants – evidently it’s been an American winter drink dating from the pilgrim days.

It seems boozy eggnog adverting was dominated by two brands, Four Roses and Bacardi. Each took their own path to lure their customers to holiday cheer.

Four Roses stuck to the same visual, barely updated for the changing times. I’m serious. All the ads were the same:

These ads were from 1944, 1956 and 1937. Three decades of the same imagery! Still, I enjoy that they call their recipe “Merry Christmas!” It sure takes some jingle bells to try and brand such a common phrase.

Bacardi went with the whimsical route, featuring Elf on the Shelf’s other little known cousins – The Booze Brothers.

Are they elves, or gnomes or the 7 dwarfs on their day off?  I don’t know…I just.don’t. know…

Please note the “Man’s Recipe” for the eggnog. Men can’t be seen sipping some sissy nog, now can they?! “Sally, get away from that bowl! You know ladies can’t handle such a macho mix of eggs, cream and spices!”

Other notable eggnog ads include this Glenmore spot with more tiny bartenders, this time looking like a cross between Albert Einstein and the Monopoly guy.

glenmore nog

This very pretty ad showing Four Roses could do other things besides headless beings pawing at punch bowls, 4 roses

And though not eggnog related, I thought this was a fantastic ad! Get ‘er done, Santa! martini

Whatever’s in your cup, be sure to raise a glass for peace, love and good advertising!

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Boom Goes the Dynamite Ads

Happy Independence Day, fellow Americans!

After dope advertising, American’s love nothing more than eating food and blowing stuff up, so today’s our time to shine!

Check Aunt Mary’s story about Nathan’s Hot Dogs to see what’s on the menu, and let’s move on to the after-dinner entertainment: amature explosives!

Such as disfiguring circus-folk.

circus firecrackers
“Hello, Yes, this is Circus Fireworks…I’d like to order a cautionary tale.”

Or witnessing breathtakingly poor choices mixed with demure boasting.

indoor
There is no way anything could go wrong with this idea…
hartford circus fire
Oh, Now I see… ***

 

Or the most elegant way to freak the hell out of your neighbor’s dog!

 

Lastly, don’t forget that fireworks will look even more enchanting through the fog of self medication!

Self Serve You know those shops where you can fill baggies with candy? That’s what I’m picturing here. Only bins of drugs and explosives. It’s customary for Vicodin to only be paired with Roman Candles. Anything else is gauche.

Take the advice from the little girl and have a safe and sane 4th!

 

***In no way do I want to diminish the horror of the Hartford Circus fire. For more information listen to this podcast.

Memorial Day Picnic – Ad Style

Happy Memorial Day weekend in the US! As the unofficial start of summer there is one thing everyone wants to do: Grill Out! Let’s see what’s on our vintage ad picnic menu, shall we?

First up: hot dogs! So convenient in a can! I can see thousands of cold-war era backyard bomb shelters stuffed to the rafters with cans and cans of wieners. Why, the nuclear winter will seem like a picnic with all those hot dogs!

canned weiners
If you are trying really hard to get Middle Schoolers to laugh, you can’t go wrong with the phrasing “Can o’ Wieners” paired with “Sack o’ Sauce”
weironie
By “a little bit you you!” I’m pretty sure they mean “internal organs.” 

Or maybe we can tempt you with a hamburger, fresh from the tin?

burger can 2
“Say, I know! burgers in a can, ya see?” 

Let’s not forget the condiments! What’s a picnic without ketchup?

ketchup
Folks must have had a lot of time to read ad copy back in the day. I’ve asked Uncle Mary to call me his angel whenever I buy new ketchup, but he had declined. 

Or folks losing their minds over mustard?

mustard
This is everyone’s favorite style of vintage ad! It hits me right in the ad loving spot.

…and to wash it all down?

Booze.

Seagrams cookout
I have never wanted anything more than to be at this party. 
Brewers Memorial Day
If I can’t be at the Seagram’s party, can I be here instead?

Many wishes for a happy and peaceful Memorial Day!