Tag Archives: Food

Memorial Day Picnic – Ad Style

Happy Memorial Day weekend in the US! As the unofficial start of summer there is one thing everyone wants to do: Grill Out! Let’s see what’s on our vintage ad picnic menu, shall we?

First up: hot dogs! So convenient in a can! I can see thousands of cold-war era backyard bomb shelters stuffed to the rafters with cans and cans of wieners. Why, the nuclear winter will seem like a picnic with all those hot dogs!

canned weiners
If you are trying really hard to get Middle Schoolers to laugh, you can’t go wrong with the phrasing “Can o’ Wieners” paired with “Sack o’ Sauce”
weironie
By “a little bit you you!” I’m pretty sure they mean “internal organs.” 

Or maybe we can tempt you with a hamburger, fresh from the tin?

burger can 2
“Say, I know! burgers in a can, ya see?” 

Let’s not forget the condiments! What’s a picnic without ketchup?

ketchup
Folks must have had a lot of time to read ad copy back in the day. I’ve asked Uncle Mary to call me his angel whenever I buy new ketchup, but he had declined. 

Or folks losing their minds over mustard?

mustard
This is everyone’s favorite style of vintage ad! It hits me right in the ad loving spot.

…and to wash it all down?

Booze.

Seagrams cookout
I have never wanted anything more than to be at this party. 
Brewers Memorial Day
If I can’t be at the Seagram’s party, can I be here instead?

Many wishes for a happy and peaceful Memorial Day!

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Punch Up Your Holiday Parties!

I think it’s time we bring back the punch bowl! Enough with the wine and craft beer at every party, I want a big crock of Cheerful Whatever poured into a cut glass vessel large enough to take a bath in.

You aren’t on board? You will be after you see these delightful retro recommendations!

7-up-punch
Dudes be creepin. I have a feeling “Baby It’s Cold Outside” is played in a loop at this party. 

You can find this punch bowl at literally any second hand store anywhere. I love thrift shopping and there is always at least one punch bowl at any local shop.

 

merry-christmas-4-roses

Named after someone in the Four Roses test kitchen was heard shouting “Merry Christmas”after sampling the newest punch recipe. They were later found sleeping it off under the break room table.

 

rum-punch

Is it just me or is this headline a little threatening?  Still, there’s meat and a bucket of rum in crazy-adorable cups so count me in!

 

xmas-tuna-salad

It’s important to have sustenance on hand to soak up all that hooch. Be sure to adorn your party table with Elf on the Shelf’s older cousin, Judgy McStink-Eye, who sits on the buffet and makes note of everything you eat and drink. “Oh, you’re having another plate of food…well that certainly is a choice.”

By the way, that’s a tower of tuna…at a cocktail party…where people have been drinking. Good plan!

Aunt Mary’s Home for Creepy Ads

Perhaps it’s the triple whammy of my obsessive watching of Stranger Things, listening to the Black Tapes Podcast and the infiltration of clowns across our great nation, but I’m on edge lately. Obviously the best treatment was days spent searching the deep web for weird-ass ads to share with you all.

I’m a giver, that’s for sure.

Brace yourselves, kids, for Aunt Mary has uncovered the creepiest food ads from the good ‘ol days. I’m pretty sure none of these open a portal to the Upside Down.

weird-guy-pudding-pie

 

 

 

I get the distinct impression there is something in this pie that Fred isn’t telling us about. He watches while we eat, but he never takes a bite. He just smiles that knowing smile.

 

 

 

 

 

 

green-giant-doll

 

 

Obviously this doll gets up and wanders the house at night, that’s a given. What’s weird is he rips the labels off the canned vegetables leaving the homeowners guessing what tonight’s side dish will be. It’s diabolical.

 

 

creepy-juice

 

 

 

Even demons need their vitamin C.

Maybe it’s time to lay off the OJ when your kid is carrot colored.

 

 

skinless-weiners Hey Jughead, I feel like this might be one of those “if you see something, say something” situations. I’m not sure what’s wrong here, but I can say that nothing’s right.

The odd imagery this company used in almost all of their advertising lends a sinister tone to their name, Skinless.

skinless-weiners-4th

 

 

 

 

Nothing about this ad is either safe or sane.

 

 

 

 

Well, goodnight kids! Sleep tight, I hope the stuffed Green Giant won’t bite.

Sure, I’ll leave the hall light on.

A Study in Casseroles – Recipe Wednesday

Today’s retro recipes are from Aunt Mary’s personal edition of “Casseroles” published by Favorite Recipes of America in 1968. All of the recipes in the book were submitted by readers, making them a leader in group sourcing content long before the Huffington Post thought they were so cool.

cover

Leafing through the book, one thought kept creeping through my mind: is it better or worse that the interior photos are black in white. Does it make them more or less appetizing? I’ll let you decide!

ground-beef
This Tabasco Beef Ring has a whopping 1 1/2 teaspoons of Tabasco Sauce to two pounds of ground beef. 
combinations
I’m not sure if it’s the chunkiness or the shininess that make this so worrisome. 
foreign
Janie thinks she’s so fancy because she’s been to Canada. 

I especially enjoyed that each recipe is accredited to its submitter in full honorific detail. In typical contemporary fashion, the ladies are listed as their husband’s name such as Mrs. Frank Schnozzel, South Bend; or by their given name if unmarried, Betty Birdpants, Tacoma. By all means, let’s make sure to let everyone know if this person’s cooking is good enough to snag herself a man!

 

 

 

 

Big Otis is OK

At some point in the 1950’s, an exasperated marketing exec in Battle Creek said “I don’t know. Make the mascot a giant Scotsman?” and OKs cereal’s Big Otis was born.

I get it, oats, oatmeal, Scotland. Sure. Why not? How else was Kellogg’s going to elbow in on that smug Cheerios? What kid doesn’t love a burly, bearded man in ethnic garb telling them what to eat? It’s like we’re printing money, baby!

 

Big Otis
Don’t look up, kids!

Big Otis spent two years basking in the cereal mascot sun before he was replaced with Yogi Bear in 1962. In 1963 OK’s was scraped in favor of Fruit Loops. It was grand while it lasted, wasn’t it, Laddie?

 

Thanks to Dan for suggesting today’s topic! Let me know if you have an idea for the Ad Storytime!

“Can” I Have Some Meat?

Shhh…. my kids don’t know I’m writing the blog, so everybody just be very quiet. They think I’m folding laundry or else they would be on me talking about Pokemon or what some volgger is doing or asking for their fourteenth Popsicle of the day.

It’s Wednesday and you know what that means: retro food!

Today: Meat in cans. After WWII food manufactures were itchin’ to see what else they could cram into a can with those keen technological breakthroughs in food preservation. Then they spent a lot of time telling housewives why their meat in a can was the only thing keeping their man at home.

First up, Morrell’s E-Z Liver Loaf.

I find this family totally charming until I remember they are seriously loosing their minds over tinned offal. And really, is a NEW kind of meat a good thing? Shouldn’t we already be acquainted with our meat options?

Liver Loaf 1
Betty here calls Bob her B vitamin. 

This ad could also work for cult recruitment or those folks who really REALLY want you to know about their open marriage. Nobody has ever been this excited about filter organ sandwiches.

ribs in a can
Six worldly spices!

Not just Meat, it’s the Meatiest. Come a-running!

 

 

She’s Krafty!

It’s Recipe Wednesday!

Here is the “before” picture leading up to this jelly-Velveeta omelet gaining sentience and destroying a small sea-side town. All it wanted was love! Is that so wrong?

velveeta omlete
It’s surprisingly…um…chunky. 

This charming ad hits a lot of my favorite retro ad spots: goofy imagery, claims of superlative benefits, oddball copy. I like to think of mid-century moms making this for their hordes of baby-boomer kids. It makes me happy!

velveeta smiles